1997

i knew if you let me down again

i would have no love left

and i was mostly right

i felt it go

i have no more feelings towards 

anything i know

or knew

especially that aweful city

and you

my own face is a distant memory

that i suppress

belly full of beer and a half pack

of cigarettes 

but not that brand

i must say i dont have it all that bad

its never easy to forget

but if you cleave onto a new reality

instead

suddenly hope becomes something you must know

ive given up control

send my soul to the angels

ive found a new home

and it will be 

a mystery

forever

i cant wait to find the new me

and where that might be

a world without hate

or the good ol days

maybe across the sea

all i know

is i feel some sort of destiny

and need

to have dreams

and follow them wherever they might lead

because what i believe is 

that i could change things

for everybody

(especially lily)